Surprise procrastination with achievement

I have a bad habit of procrastination. I put off something I need to do or want to do. I think it’s my perfectionism. Or it could be my recently diagnosed ADHD. Whatever the cause is, I procrastinate and that carries significant impact to my day to day.

Today, I was more desperate for a change. So I started tackling the very thing I put off doing. The motivation came from trying to get done the bare minimum for a better tomorrow. Not to be the best version I could be, but just to satisfy the bare essential item for a chance for stable lifestyle.

Surprisingly I pushed through. I wasn’t particularly pumped to see each milestone completed. On the contrary, I was tempted to take long breaks in between. I did humor myself with short breaks here and there but only when I had made decent progress and time had passed more than I had realized.

I completed the task in about 8 hours that took much longer than 8 months for me to start. Again, I wasn’t too emotionally taken with the sense of achievement. I don’t know why. I just don’t know why. But I was amazed that I had done that very thing after spending so much time procrastinating. I spoke out loud to myself that I was in fact amazed and in fact proud of having accomplished it. I had to give myself the verbal validation to fill in the emotional gap.

I guess emotional cues are not in store for me in terms of using it as a compass for action. But that also applies for those with a very acute emotional signals. Whatever feelings may prompt or discourage an action, the important thing is to take action if it’s something you know you want to see it done. Time runs the same for everyone. It’s each person’s relationship with time that makes a unique difference.

I will remind myself that as often as I can.